I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
