So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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