He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
how drunk are you?
Several
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize