you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
