Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
