he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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