Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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