nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
