We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
