Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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