i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
