What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My feet surprised me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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