He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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