i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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