I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
