Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
