I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
