THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
