wat bout pragnant strippers??
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
