Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
