I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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