Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
