Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize