She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
