somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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