yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
