i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
