We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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