you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He told me they were just razor bumps!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
