She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
