I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
