I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize