I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
