Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So much Jack, so little girl.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
