I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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