U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
