The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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