how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
