come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
