And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
