No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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