how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do vagina's smell?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Mom said you looked used
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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