butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize