who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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