he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
