Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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