did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
