belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
