As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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