I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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