I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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