your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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