O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
