this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
