I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You took a bar mat shot.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
