your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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