I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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