awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
