dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
