is your mom at the bar?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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